That's the Sound of the Police

Since moving to Amsterdam, bicycles have been our primary form of transportation.  We ride them to work, to run errands and occasionally for fun.  The best part about riding bikes in the Netherlands is the fact that there are separate paved bike lanes to ride in. The bike lanes even have their own traffic lights to help with the flow of traffic.  While we don't "officially" know the rules of the road, I assume they are the same as driving a car in most places in the U.S.  Here are some basic cycling rules:

1. Pedestrians have the right of way (except when they walk into the bike path, then it is a game of chicken in which bikes always win).
2. While approaching an uncontrolled intersection, yield to person on the right (unless you can peddle faster than the person to your right).
3. Using a mobile telephone when cycling is authorized (it is not uncommon to see people texting with both hands while riding their bikes).
4. The maximum blood alcohol level permitted when cycling is 0.5mg, however being stopped for cycling under the influence of alcohol does not lead to the suspension of driving license (I'm not sure if the same thing applies to pot or not).
5. Approved lights at the front and back are compulsory at night and when visibility is reduced (I'm willing to bet that 97% of the people violate this rule as almost everyone is missing or has damaged lights on their bikes).
6. Red lights in the bike lanes means stop (another rule broken by a majority of the people here). 

 

"Pull the bike over ma'am"........"Headquarters, she's fleeing.  Send backup."

The last rule seems to be the easiest rule to remember, right?  Well the following may or may not have been a text I received today:

       "In my tired state, I just want to get here (home), right?  So I decided to cross the 

       street on a red light bc no card (cars) were coming.  I did this in front of a cop on 

       a motorcycle.  I drove past him, he apparently was saying hello to me but I didn't 

       hear him.  I hear a beep, see he's coming for me and pull over"

This has me a little concerned.

      "He proceeds to say that the rules here are the same in the US and he is giving me a 

       ticket for running a red light!"

At this point I'm thinking, "I'm glad this wasn't me cause I would never hear the end of it."

       "He asks for passport-don't have it"

       "He asks for my ID-don't have that either bc it's on (in) my phone at home"

This doesn't sound like it is going to end well does it?  In fact in the U.S., this usually means someone is going to jail.

      "He asks why I did it, I told him I was exhausted."

      "I don't think he like that answer"

      "So he starts writing in on his pad.  I see '75' written on the paper but don't know if

       that's the fee or what."

      "He gets a call on his CB and then just takes off"

      "Doesn't give me the paper, doesn't say anything to me but hands me back my 

      insurance card bc that's all I had to give him with my name on it (not exactly

      an 'offical' form of ID)"

      "So, I may or may not have received a ticket.  On a bike.  As if my day couldn't

      get any worse"

Sounds like someone may have dodged a bullet.  Now the waiting game begins.  Will we see if we receive a ticket for running a red light while on a bike or not.  

       

The 2013 U.S. Food Tour

We knew adjusting to life in Europe would be a little hard, but didn't think adjusting to the food was going to be an issue. Shortly after moving here, we missed some of our favorite places to eat.  I mean really, have you heard anyone wanting to go out for Dutch food?Where else in the world do you go to get Dutch food?  We may live in the Netherlands, but you can still get Mexican food, Italian food and Argentinian food.  Can you go to Italy or Mexico and get Dutch food?  I would venture to say you wouldn't even find Dutch food outside the Netherlands.  I was once told by a colleague that the Dutch are not known for their food.  In fact, he told me the Dutch only eat because they have to.  A typical Dutch lunch is kaasbroodje (a sandwhich made of bread and cheese, nothing else).  Sounds tasty right?  We do have some chain places here: Dominoes, McDonald's, Burger King, Starbucks and KFC (minus the biscuits and the mash potatoes).  These work when you're in a pinch, but we still miss some of our favorite places.

We can't wait to cross some of these places off our list.

With that being said, we started to make a list of places we wanted to eat at when we returned home for the holidays.  Keep in mind, we are not foodies, so our list of places is not very sophisticated.  In no particular order, here is the 2013 U.S. Food Tour list.

• Chick-fil-A: Carmen is excited about chicken minis and will most likely want to eat them everyday.
• Cracker Barrel:  I want to eat there for the breakfast.  Breakfast is not considered a meal here.  Basically a Dutch breakfast consists of bread with cheese and that is it.
• Texas Roadhouse/Outback: I am really wanting a simple steak and potatoes dinner.  You can't get that here at a reasonable price.
• Mexican food:  Notice I didn't specify a specific place.  As long as it has free chip and salsa and queso, that is all we need.  We'll be so happy with chips and salsa, we might not be able to eat our main meal.   
• McDonald's:  Yes we have McDonald's here, but they don't have breakfast.  I want a bacon egg and cheese biscuit, an egg mcmuffin/sausage mcmuffin with egg and Carmen is really wanting their oatmeal.  She swears its the best oatmeal ever.  
• Mellow Mushroom:  One of the best pizza places in Atlanta (we love the crust).
• The Vortex:  Burgers, burgers, burgers.  If you have ever eaten there, you know what I'm talking about. 
• BBQ:  Just like Mexican food, any kind will do.
• Waffle House:  I love my hash browns scattered, smothered, covered, topped and chunked.  They don't know what hash browns are here.
• Dunkin' Doughnuts/Krispy Kreme: Notice a breakfast theme here?  Really, they don't have breakfast here like you're used to (bread and cheese or a croissant).

This is just a quick list.  I'm sure there are several other places we want to hit while we are home.  It's a good thing we ride bikes.  We're going to need to do a couple of laps around Amsterdam once we get back.

Six to Eight Black Guys.

This story is not intended to be racist or offensive.  This is the story that was told to me and the pictures in this blog were pictures of actual events.  If you are offended easily, you might not want to look/read any further because the pictures could be offensive to some people.



Now that the disclaimer is done, lets get on with this blog.

So after being here for three months, a friend of mind posted something on my Facebook wall about Christmas here.  The story was so crazy, I didn't believe it.  I looked it up online and everything online supported the story I had heard.  Still in disbelief (that is how crazy this story was) I went to work the next day and asked a colleague about the story and she confirmed the story as being true.  Today I got to see first hand, the crazy celebration/story of the arrival of the Sinterklaas.

So in the Netherlands, they have two celebrations for Christmas.  December 5th is St. Nicolas' Day and December 25th is Christmas.  I think everyone knows what Christmas is, so I don't have to explain that.  They have Santa Clause; he flies in a sled with reindeer and delivers gifts to all the good boys and girls.  However; December 5th is another story. December 5th is St. Nicolas' Day.  This is how the story of St. Nicolas goes (hold on, cause this story is crazy).

Sinterklaas arriving in Amsterdam from Madrid, Spain.

St. Nicolas is a retired Bishop from the county Turkey.  He goes by the name Sinterklaas. He looks just like Santa Clause, but wears a hat that looks like a hat the Pope would wear. Sinterklaas lives in Spain and in mid-November he makes his way to the Netherlands via a boat (from Madrid Spain, a land locked city).  Sinterklaas travels with a white horse and about six to eight black guys called Zwarte Piet (translated: Black Pete).  Zwarte Piet is a "slave" that does Sinterklaas' bidding.  They are really black, like Wesley Snipes black. I'm told that the reason they are this black is because first of all, they are black to begin with and they travel down the chimneys and the soot in the chimneys makes them even blacker.

One of several boats with Zwarte Piets on them.

Sinterklaas rides from house to house on a white horse with the Zwarte Piets and gives gifts to all the good little boys and girls just like Santa Clause.  The Zwarte Piets give out a mixture of cookies and candies called "strooigode and Kruidnoten".  After that is done, Sinterklaas then asks the parents which little boys and girls have been bad.  If the parents point to the kids, the Zwarte Piets then kick the kids and whip them with switches.  After the beating is done, the Zwart Piets then put the kids in a sack and they bring the kids back to Spain where they are forced to work.

Now is that a crazy story or what?  If I heard that story as a kid, I would have never acted up.  After all of that takes place, Santa Clause comes on December 25th and delivers more presents to the good children.  So the children in the Netherlands get presents twice in December (if they are good) and if they are not good, they get beaten, kidnapped and taken to Spain (which Spain doesn't really sound like a bad place).  I told you this was a crazy story, so I hope everyone has been good this year so the Zwarte Piets don't come and beat you and take you to Spain.

Hazards of Biking.

I've been riding a bike as a main form of transportation for six months now.  Riding a bike in Amsterdam is not without its hazards.  Traditional hazards include trams, cars and mopeds.  But there are some other hazards that are not traditional.  Here are some non traditional hazards of biking:

1) Bike Tours:  These groups can be very dangerous.  Bike tours?  Yes.  The problem with bike tours are the tourists riding the bikes.  Since they don't want to get left behind, they will do whatever it takes to stay with the group.  This includes running red lights, pulling out in front of you and sometimes just stopping in the middle of the road to look at something.  And when you ring your bell at them, they panic and start to wobble left and right, thus making the possibility of them crashing increase.  For most of them, it is the first time in a 100 years they have rode a bike and the sites of the city is just too overwhelming for them.

They usually have matching bikes.  Beware of the matching bike gang.

2) Tram Tracks: The obvious reason these are dangerous are the trams.  If you don't pay attention, you could get hit by one, but these are also dangerous because they are deep. When crossing these on a bike, you need to make sure you turn your front tire at a sharp angle to cross them.  If you don't, you could end up on the ground and embarrassed.  I once saw a lady try to ease over these things. This was a bad decision.  As she merged over, the front wheel got stuck in the tracks and cause her to fall over and crash in front of everyone.  I will admit, I did laugh a little because I knew the error she made.  If that wasn't bad enough, the car she was in front of started honking and yelling at her.  Use caution when crossing these things.

Beware, these are deeper than they appear.

3) Tourists on Foot: These are the most dangerous "non traditional hazards".  This hazard has no regard for anything.  Like their biking counterparts, they do not pay attention to where they are going.  They will step right off the curb and in front of you without looking.They are constantly looking everywhere, but where they are walking.   They also think the bike lanes are really nice sidewalks and walk in them all the time.  You constantly have to ring your bell at them to get them to move and sometimes you have to buzz them so they will get the point.

Pay attention to where you're going!

4) "The Danger Lane": This is a common way around cars, but is very dangerous.  Once you commit to using this lane, you commit to dangers associated with it.  Car doors opening, cars swerving, hitting a bollard (or the penises as my wife likes to call them) or even hitting a pedestrian.  If something bad is going to happen on a bike, this is where it is most likely to happen.  I heard a story about someone going down this lane, but they went down it real slow.  The end result was falling on a car and not being able to get up.  Enter this lane with caution.  

Hold your breath, we could be in for a bumpy ride.

5) "The Chit-Chatters": My wife just cringed at this.  She hates that word, but that is the best way to describe these people.  These people are clearly not in any hurry to do or go anywhere.  They don't care that they are holding you up, they are not aware of anything but the conversation they are having. Because they are not paying attention to anything but their conversation, they are swerving all over the place making it impossible to pass them.  If you try to pass, you run the risk of hitting a parked car as they swerve into you. On this day, I finally had to ring my bell to get them to move so I could pass them. As I passed, the guy on the left gave me a "What's the rush jerk?" look.  I was tempted to kick him, thus knocking down and pushing him into the guy with a skunk for a hair do.  I would have called him a douche as I passed, but that translates into "shower" here and doesn't have the same insulting affect as it does in the States.

Blah, blah, blah.  We aren't in any rush.  We have all day.  This guy is clearly in a hurry to get home.  Blah, blah, blah.

With all these hazards you would think personal safety is a main focus.  Wearing a helmet is a must right? Wrong!  No one in Amsterdam wears a helmet, because wearing a helmet is for suckers and we aren't suckers.  Plus we don't want to look like tourist.  

Will it Ever Be Normal?

I've been here for four months now, and things are really starting to feel normal.  However, there are some things that still do not feel normal.  Here is something that doesn't feel normal yet:

Riding a bike- Now, this has come easier to some than others.  Some are still learning how to navigate around on their bike and keep it up right.  I have somewhat gotten used to riding my bike to work.  Every morning I ride to work, and I can’t believe that I’m riding my bike to work.  It is such a strange feeling and even more strange to see everyone else doing it.  It’s really weird to see a bunch of adults riding bikes from place to place.  However, riding my bike in all kinds of weather is another story.  Today I had to ride home in the rain, which is normal for Dutch people.  I am convinced that for this very reason, Dutch people are stronger people than Americans. 

"Get out the way, I gots to get to work for real."

You doubt me?  Picture your worst co-worker and imagine them riding a bike in the rain.  “No way!”  That has "call out sick" written all over it.  There is no way you will get a minimum wage employee in America to ride their bike to work in the rain (even if everything is relative in size and distance).  Some people will say “Well, they’re dumb for riding in the rain.  Isn't there public transportation?”  There is, but even with that they just suck it up and deal with it.  They are not consumed with what they look like when they get to work; they just know that they have to get to work no matter what.  I say all this after riding my bike in the rain two days in a row.  And like an American, I have decided today is the last day I will do that.  I will be taking public transportation to work when it rains from now on.  I can act Dutch on non-rainy days.  I'm not that much in a hurry to blend in.  

Because Six is Too Many

The other day I was in the store and saw something that I thought was odd.  I saw packages of beer and soda that had been opened.  I thought "What the hell?  Who is going around here stealing beer and soda?"  Only a few day later, I discovered that you can buy drinks in singles if you want.  I have never been in a store and thought, "I'm in the mood for one beer.  They don't have singles, well I guess I will bust up this six pack and buy one."

Four, yes.  But six, I'm not an alcoholic.

Then I wondered, what if this applied to other things like socks, underwear or other food items like eggs.  Can you imagine only buying two eggs?  What if you didn't want an entire two liter bottle of soda, so you opened it up and poured some into a container to buy.  I just found it odd that you could just open up packing of drinks and take what you want.  I guess this person was short €1,80.

Signs of the Times

This weekend there was a big festival in town.  During this time, someone went around and vandalized several of the "Do Not Enter" signs.  I thought I would share a few of them in my Photoblog this week.

"The Sculptor"

"Ikea Furniture Carrying Zone"

"Secrets in the Drawer"

"Craftsman"

"Packed in Like Sardines"

"Covering it Up"

"The Grip"

"Put a Bird on It"

"The Stockade"

"Love for the Law"